Relationships can be amazing and rewarding, but at the same time, they can also be complicated. Most relationships aren’t smooth sailing all day every day — they can’t be. People have conflicts, and resolving them and working through them is a part of growing together. Everyone has their own unique triggers and traumas to work through, and the same can be said for relationships.
However, sometimes relationships feel off in little ways that aren’t as easy to figure out. It could be a combination of things, and it could also be something you haven’t considered yet. There are so many things that could be affecting your relationship, but just as there are triggers for problems out there, you can usually find the solutions within them. From the mental to the physical to the communicative, there are quite a few things to consider when understanding your relationship better. Here are just a few of them.
1. Your Communication Styles
Communication is important in relationships, so it makes sense that poor communication skills or uneven communication could affect your relationship’s health. Poor communication can lead to resentment, disconnect and misunderstandings between you. If you tend not to be on the same page more often than not, trying out more intentional communication techniques and styles can put your relationship in a much better place. However, it takes both parties being willing to communicate in order to improve the situation.
2. Unhealthy Habits
There are quite a few unhealthy habits that can impact relationships and the way you interact with one another. While both people in the relationship struggling with bad habits can certainly lead to rough times, one partner struggling with unhealthy habits can affect the relationship as a whole, too, especially as certain habits can impact all areas of life. Issues like addiction to substances can cause other issues like loss of trust and deception, which can lead to poor communication and other dysfunctions. If you or your partner are struggling, seeking help should be the first priority.
3. Your Love Languages
While it might not be the same kind of impact, the way you love one another and express that love can have a strong effect on your relationship. Really, it’s a specific part of communication that shouldn’t be ignored. While the way you want to express love to your partner may feel obvious to you, they could receive love in an entirely different way. If you both feel like you’re expressing love, but also not having your needs met, talking about your love languages could be a great way to address the situation so everyone feels more comfortable and seen.
4. Self Esteem
Another quality that could be affecting your relationship is you or your partner’s relationship with self esteem. While both partners having low self esteem could definitely cause issues in the relationship, even one partner struggling with their self worth or self image could cause negative impacts in the relationship from either side. While the partner with low self esteem may feel unworthy or have a constant sense of worry, the other partner might take those feelings and behaviors as signs of distrust. In any relationship, it’s important for both partners to work on their self esteem consistently.
5. Your Careers
If one or both partners have busy, unstable jobs that impact their personal life, that could reasonably bleed into the relationship. While there are measures you can take to be intentional about personal time and work time, workaholism isn’t usually conducive to healthy relationships — romantic or otherwise. Work life balance is important, especially when trying to make love last.
Sometimes, even if you love one another deeply, the timing can be the thing that throws you off in a relationship. The saying, “right person, wrong time” is a bit of a cliche, but it’s true. If you happen to have different goals, you’re at different stages in life, one of you wants to move or one of you is struggling with something that perhaps would work best if you remained single for the time being, those are all signs that point to bad timing. While you can work with the timing, taking breaks or reassessing your situation could also be an option.
There is a degree of debate as to how much jealousy is healthy in a relationship, but having an overly jealous partner or being constantly jealous yourself isn’t the best way to build trust and happiness in a partnership. While it’s always nice to desire each other and feel passion, jealousy is another thing entirely. If you feel like you can’t trust one another, it could be beneficial to explore the reasons for that on a personal level and together.
Keeping Your Relationship Healthy
There are so many things that could be affecting your relationship, and they span from unhealthy habits to individual self esteem issues. Whatever it is that could be affecting your relationship, the best thing to do is address it directly. Whether you reach out and get help together, work on your individual development, or become more intentional about your relationship together, getting to the root of things is often the best way to get your relationship back on track.